Hanson Shocked To Learn That Less Than 5% Of West Australians Identify As Racist Bigots

Following Saturday’s disastrous result in the Western Australian Election, One Nation’s leader Pauline Hanson has revealed her surprise that less than 5% of West Australians identify as racist bigots.

Speaking to The (un)Australian Senator Hanson spoke of her shock, saying: “In the lead up I thought we were a good chance of getting maybe 10 or even 20% of the racist bigot vote. I mean the amount of people who came up to me on the street to mouth off about radical islam and political correctness gone mad was off the charts. But I guess when push comes to shove they didn’t follow through in the ballot box.”

When pressed on whether her comments on vaccinating children or praise of Russian president Vladimir Putin might have had an effect on the vote, a defiant Senator Hanson rejected these claims, saying: “That’s fake news, real Australians are sick to death of journalists coming at me with their facts and evidence.”

“Enough is enough. I think the real reason we polled so low was that people were put off by having to fill in their ballot sheet with a pencil, why couldn’t they use crayons? Or a texta?”

“I shall call on the Attorney General to hold an enquiry into the use of pencils over crayons at voting booths. Now if you’ll excuse me Senator Roberts asked me to pick him up some aluminium foil on the way home.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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