Federal Immigration Minister and aspiring super villain Peter Dutton has attacked the nation’s CEO’s over their continued input into matters that he feels doesn’t concern them. The issues Minister Dutton singled out in particular were marriage equality and workplace bullying.
Speaking to The (un)Australian Minister Dutton extrapolated his feelings, saying: “The Nations CEO’s need to fall in line with what I think. I mean how dare they discuss workplace bullying and not include the nation’s biggest bully advocate, Ray Hadley in the discussion?”
“And as for their calls on marriage equality we say that the only way to decide this issue is by a plebiscite and you can’t have a plebiscite without plebs. Therefore CEO’s should shut up about this issue and leave it to us plebs.”
When pressed on why they should consult Ray Hadley, an incredulous Minister Dutton responded: “Oh I guess you leftie trendies want Waleed Aly or Mr Squiggle to handle the bullies. Well why don’t you go stand in the corner and give yourself a wedgie?”
“That answer there is why Ray is the man, cause that’s what he said to me yesterday.”
Ray Hadley was unavailable for comment as he was busy shouting at an intern.