Queensland Accidentally Gives Indian Mynahs $300M After Clerical Error

A small spelling mistake on a contract has led the Queensland government to award more than $300 million to its population of Indian Mynah birds rather than to Indian miner Adani.

“I turn off Spellcheck whenever I use my computer because it has puppies trying to spell my name and somehow I’ve managed to give a royalties holiday to our state’s flock of sky rats instead of to an overseas coal mining firm,” said a red faced Anastacia Palaszczuk. “But I’d like to assure Queenslanders of the massive economic benefits they will receive from an expanded population of aerial cane toads.”

“Sure the Indian Mynahs devastate native fauna and will deafen everyone in the state with their constant chirping but think of all the regional jobs they’ll create,” said treasurer Curtis Pitt. “Thousands of trappers, bird poo removers and soundproofers will have to be employed, plus the state will reap millions in increased revenue from our proposed nest building tax.”

Adani has been outraged at missing out on the contract and has been jumping up and down and making a huge song and dance about the whole debacle. The Premier has promised to draft a new contract for them.

“I’ve instructed my staff to draw up a separate agreement for that firm of noisy miners,” said Palaszczuk. “I can’t imagine how that could go pear shaped in any way.”

Peter Green

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Categories: Science

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