America has taken advantage of Donald Trump’s first overseas trip to greatly accelerate construction of its protective border wall, hoping to have it finished in time to prevent the President’s return to the country.
“I’d never really seen the value of the wall up until now,” said project foremen Wally Grout. “But now I can see tremendous benefits to our nations economy, social cohesion and standing in the world if we can whack it up between now and Sunday week.”
The reputed $21B cost of the wall has greatly decreased with several brick and concrete companies now willing to offer their products for free and the arrival of millions of workers at the border armed with cement mixers and bevel edgers.
“The biggest issue we have is the rest of the world is also mobilising,” said chief engineer Bob Plumb. “Both Mexico and Canada have invested heavily in battering rams and the United Nations has formed a committee composed of tunnel building experts and shovel manufacturers.”
Reports of Vice President Mike Pence driving at breakneck speed to the border in a pickup truck armed with a block trowel and a brick jointer have yet to be confirmed.