Census Reveals 14% Growth In Number Of Statistics


The amount of statistics in Australia has grown by nearly a sixth in the last five years according to the figures from the 2016 Census released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

“Although there has been a slight decline in traditional statistics such as bar charts, pie charts and those ones showing a line gradually rising from left to right on a graph, there has been a huge increase in cute ones like computer graphics of human figures all in a line superimposed on a picture of a house,” said ABS spokesperson Stan Deviation. “We can now count, quantify and compare anything you want, though to be honest the only stat that anyone cares about is how many nerds wrote down “Jedi” as their choice of religion.”

“The amount of statistics in Australia is out of control and no-one has any idea how to house them,” said anti statistics campaigner Bev Grizzle. “We’ll need to construct hundreds of thousands of side charts in our news stories just so they’ll have somewhere to live, and train a whole generation of graphic designers in how to make interactive click on maps.”

The total amount of statistics gathered during the 2016 Census topped the 70 million mark, compared to the first Census conducted in 1792 where only five statistics were counted. The statistics in 1792 included a bar chart of the number of weevils in the biscuit supply and a pie chart showing reasons for public floggings.

Peter Green

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