Elon Musk To Build World’s Largest Bottom Drawer To House World’s Largest Battery

South Australia will be constructing the world’s biggest bottom kitchen drawer in which to keep spares of the world’s biggest lithium ion battery, which the inventor has promised to build within 100 days.

“No-one has ever attempted to build such a large drawer but we will need a place to rummage around in to look for half opened packets of batteries,” said Premier Jay Weatherill. “We’ll also be able to use it to store those giant sized keys to the city whose use we’ve forgotten about but are too scared to throw out.”

“The drawer will save the state from having to make a special trip to the supermarket whilst trying to remember which sized batteries its electricity grid takes,” said Musk from his headquarters inside an empty volcano, which he denied is filled with identically dressed henchmen. “There’s nothing more frustrating than opening up the back of the grid and trying to insert a size AAAAA battery and finding out that you should have bought a size BBBBB battery.”

Musk also reminded Weatherill to ensure that he puts the little tag under the battery when he installs it to make it easier to take it out when he needs to replace it.

Meanwhile the City of Goulburn is to convert its electricity grid to fully renewable, launching an audacious plan to power itself on static electricity produced by rubbing a hot air balloon against the woolly sides of the Big Merino.

Peter Green

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Categories: Science

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