Alan Jones Nominates Himself A White Ribbon Day Ambassador

Sydney shock jock Alan Jones has reacted to criticism over his continual attacks on prominent women, including Julia Gillard, Gladys Berejiklian and Clover Moore by declaring that he can’t be a misogynist as he himself is a White Ribbon Day Ambassador (self-appointed).

“Nonsense that I encourage violence against only women, I encourage violence against anyone who doesn’t so as I say,” lectured Jones. “I mean that silly Lord Mayor wants to have a statue of a ribbon in Sydney, what a waste of money.”

“If they put up a statue it should be of a prominent citizen someone who people admire and listen to, maybe someone in radio.”

When asked whether he meant John Laws or Kyle Sandilands, Mr Jones turned a very dark shade of red before exploding in rage and shouting: “How dare you. Your Mother would die in shame if she could comprehend how disrespectful you were being to the greatest Australian that ever lived. I’m important, I’m relevant, love me, worship me, dammit!”

The City of Sydney had no comment when asked whether they had any plans to commission an Alan Jones statue. Though they did say thanks for the laugh.

Mark Williamson

www.twitter.com/MWChatShow

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