A lasting world peace has been declared after the introduction of crappy Australian weapons built by pissed workers late on a Friday afternoon has rendered the waging of war impossible.
“This machine gun doesn’t even have a trigger and the barrel points backwards,” said disgusted Yemeni Houthi rebel Phil Blowfish. “These bullets are square. How is that even possible?”
“The tracks on my tank were put on inside out and I’ve been sliding all over the place,” said a Turkish tank commander from a ditch in Kurdistan. “I found half a meat pie blocking the firing mechanism on this surface to air missile. It has “Robbo Is A Wanker” stamped on the manufacturers plate next to the words “Made In Wangaratta”.”
Australian Minister for Defence Industries Christopher Pyne has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and universally lauded for finally solving the Isreali Palestinian conflict.
“I was about to lob a hand grenade into the Gaza strip when I noticed that it was just a pine cone covered in silver paint,” said an Israeli special forces soldier. “Then this Hamas guy came up and asked me if I could help him clutch start his jeep because the radiator had been put in upside down. We went to the pub instead and now we’re best mates.”