Stressed-Out Climate Scientist Secretly Pretty Happy With This Weather

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“Sure this unseasonal Autumn heat wave is just one more harbinger of the rapidly developing ecological crisis that could see average temperatures hit the safe limit of 1.5 degrees,” admitted Michelle Green, a Sydney-based CSIRO scientist specialising in climate change research of the unseasonably hot spell hitting Australia’s eastern states.  “But it really does make a welcome break from how dreary some of those mid-April days could be when Autumn was still a thing.”

Lounging on a beach towel at Bondi Beach today, Ms Green confided to The (un)Australian that she had spent the past months working on “bloody depressing” research into temperatures in the Arctic, which have been between 10-20°C above average in recent months, and so was desperate for a relaxing day off.

“This is just perfect, exactly what I needed to take my mind off the increasingly unavoidable evidence we’ve possibly irreversibly crossed key boundaries of a safe climate while governments just push ahead facilitating new fossil fuel projects dooming humanity to an ever-worsening ecological disaster.

“Who’d have thought I’d get a new chance to bust out the bikini this late into Autumn, huh?”

Carlo Sands

You can check out our new show Decennium Horribilius at this year’s Sydney Comedy Festival. Hosted by The (un)Australian, the quiz show features teams of some of Sydney’s best comics trying to answer questions about the decade of the 1990s — with prizes for the audience.

Saturday May 5, 5.30pm. The Factory Theatre. Book tickets here.

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