Colleagues Question Whether Abbott’s ‘Culture War’ Medals Are Legit

Following revelations of LNP candidate Trevor Ruthenberg’s war medal confusion, members of the Coalition have begun to cast aspersions over their colleague Tony Abbott’s war medals that he claims he won in the ‘culture wars.’

“No one believes for a second that Tony’s medals are legit,” said a Coalition colleague. “I mean for starters they are hand drawn and he spelled culture with a k. The guy’s kidding himself, he’s now insisting that we all refer to him as Sir Prince Abbott.”

When reached for comment, the former Prime Minister defended his culture war medals, saying: “I have fought long and hard in the battle for our culture. I have axed taxes, knighted Princes and eaten my fair share of onions. So it is only fair that I should get a medal for my services.

“Now if you’ll excuse I’m off to challenge a DJ to a duel, it will be headbutts at ten paces at dawn.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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