The Opposition’s shadow Minister for Home Affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to give up (getting caught) drinking for Lent.

”A lot of people make sacrifices for Lent, some give up watching TV, others going to restaurants, for me, I pledge not to get caught drinking,” said the member for New England. ”It’s a big sacrifice but one I am willing to make.”

”Even if I have to spend the rest of Lent hiding behind a tree, in a park, with my booze in a bag.”’

When asked why he didn’t just give up drinking for good, the shadow Minister for Home Affairs said: ”Jeez, everyone is always on my back to get off the piss.”

”Dutton, Littleproud, the Wife, the Missus, the other Missus, wait, forget I said that.”

”Anywho, am off to Church, I need to atone for my sins and get a mouth full of that sweet, sweet communal wine.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: 2gb, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Barnaby Joyce, Booze, Bubble, Canberra, David Littleproud, Drinking, Insiders, Lent, MIstress, Perin Davey, Peter Dutton, Pissedasanat, Pisshead, QandA, Sky News, Vicki Campion