Author Archives
-
Shire Dad Annoyed That “The Oils” Have Gone All Political
A Shire dad is totally dismayed that his favourite band from the 1980s Midnight Oil have gone all woke with their new release “Gadigal Land”. “Mate what happened to the Oils, they used to do really cool rockers like “US… Read More ›
-
Kelly Gang Commended For Wearing Masks
Dan Andrews has praised outlaw Ned Kelly and his gang for following the correct mask wearing protocol while going about their business of robbing banks and ranging about in the bush. “I watched the video Ned put up on YouTube… Read More ›
-
Melbourne To Widen Laneways To Make Them Covid Safe
Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
-
Scomo Spends $270 Billion To Fortify Defence Of Eden-Monaro
The Prime Minister has announced a $270 billion dollar spending spree on the defence of Eden-Monaro against an unnamed enemy, hinted at as a regional political party linked to the interests of the union movement and the advancement of the… Read More ›
-
Red Skins Renamed To Avoid Offending British Sunbathers
Nestles have taken their “Red Skins” lollies off the market in deference to offense the name may have caused to sunburnt British backpackers. “It’s no joke having to walk around Coogee looking like a lobster and having to wince in… Read More ›
-
Trump Foils Plot To Assassinate Him With Malaria Bearing Mosquitoes
Donald Trump has foiled a Chinese Secret Service plan to assassinate him with a squadron of highly trained malaria bearing mosquitoes by craftily swallowing an entire bottle of hydroxy-chloroquine. “Curses, we spent months training a crack team of anopheles mosquitoes… Read More ›