Sam Dastyari has taken a break from denying allegations that he is in the pay of the Chinese government to spend some quality time playing in the backyard with his brand new pet panda. “There’s nothing suss at all about… Read More ›
News
“I Only Keep Playing Tennis For The Free Balls” Claims Jaded Tomic
Troubled Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic has confessed in an explosive interview on Channel 7’s Sunday Night that he only stays on the circuit because of the dozens of free tennis balls on offer. “I’d have given up the game… Read More ›
Dutton’s New Super Security Department To Target Smiths Chips, Seagulls and Gobbledoks
The makers of Smiths Chips have gone into hiding following the appointment of Peter Dutton as the head of Australia’s new super Home Affairs security ministry. “ISIS, the mafia and Russian spies will no longer be Australia’s main security concern,”… Read More ›
Australian Social Justice Warrior coming Soon to ABC2
Adapted from the Newtown improv game, ‘The Floor is Fascism’, contestants will have to endure five stages of fast Facebook blocking, recycling/sorting, and holding overhead placards over their heads for the longest period of time in a gruelling protest simulation…. Read More ›
Cricket Australia Breaks Strike By Replacing Marsh Brothers With Shop Dummies
This summer’s Ashes tour will go ahead after Cricket Australia found replacements for striking cricket players, including a couple of shop dummies from Best & Less to fill in for Shaun and Mitchell Marsh. “The shop dummies don’t react to… Read More ›
Malcolm Turnbull Joins Cast Of Saturday Night Live
Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull will quit politics to join the cast of Saturday Night Live after producer Lorne Michaels spotted his turn impersonating Donald Trump at the Canberra Midwinter Open Mic Comedy Night. “This Aussie guy’s Trump impression knocks Alec… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 