An embarrassing faux pas led to the assassination squads arranged by both Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton arriving at the same time at Jeffrey Epstein’s jail cell to carry out the hit, an inquiry has been told. “It was really… Read More ›
World
Trump To Star In The New Roald Dahl Movie James And The Giant Impeachment
Current (for now) American President Donald Trump has been announced as the star of the new Roald Dahl movie James and the giant impeachment, scheduled to hit the courts, er cinemas later this year. “This is an unusual move for… Read More ›
Boris Johnson Shows You Can Achieve Anything With Enough Privilege, Even If You’re Boris Johnson
Despite being Boris Johnson, Boris Johnson has scaled to great heights that would be impossible for any human being who was Boris Johnson minus all the bits of Boris Johnson involving extreme, unearned privilege. Despite being an empty vessel of… Read More ›
Americans To Be Armed With Thoughts And Prayers Compliments Of The NRA
The National Rifle Association (NRA) has announced that it plans to provide every American citizen with enough ‘thoughts and prayers’ to help keep them safe during the next inevitable mass shooting. “We here at the NRA are listening to the… Read More ›
BREAKING: Leaked Aptitude Test For Next UK Ambassador To The US
With Sir Kim Darroch’s resignation as British Ambassador to the US, brought on by the leaking of emails in which he described President Trump as “clumsy and inept”, the next Prime Minister of the UK will need to appoint a… Read More ›
Didgeridoo Finds Permanent Home In Rear Of Danish Garage
After being carefully nurtured through a nine month tour of Australia in a tube of bubble wrap, a didgeridoo has at last been settled into its final resting place up the back of some garage in Copenhagen. “Nothing says I’m… Read More ›