Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that his department no longer serve “Fairy Bread” but instead rename it “Freedom Bread”. ”There will be no fairies in my department!” barked the Dark Lord. ”If anyone wants to… Read More ›
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ScoMo Says No Need To Hurry Up The Vaccines As He And His Mum Have Had Their Jabs
Australian Prime Minister Scotty-from-Hillsong’s marketing department has declared that there is no need for the country to rush it’s vaccination rollout as both he and his mum have already had their jabs. ”I know Australians are keen to get out… Read More ›
Barnaby Joyce To Be The Face Of New Vaccination Campaign: Just A Prick
Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has been announced as the face of the Government’s new vaccination campaign: “Just A Prick!” ”There were many contenders in Cabinet to be the face of the campaign,” said a Government Insider. ”I… Read More ›
Government To Allow Under 30’s To Sell Their Organs For A House Deposit
The Government has announced that they will be easing restrictions around the selling of organs to allow those citizens under 30 the chance to become property owners. ”We know that it is tough at the moment for young Australians to… Read More ›
Christensen Orders PM To Open Up The Borders Or Extend Job Keeper To The Philippines
The Government’s member for Manila George Christensen has ordered the PM to either open up the borders or extend Australia’s Job Keeper program to the Philippines. ”This budget doesn’t do enough for the fine people of the Philippines,” said the… Read More ›
ScoMo Secures 20 Million Gideon’s Bibles To Supplement Slow Vaccine Rollout
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong has moved to reassure the nation that he has managed to secure a steady supply of Gideon’s bibles to keep the population occupied until the vaccine arrives. ”Rest assured Australia, your old mate ScoMo… Read More ›