Christensen Orders PM To Open Up The Borders Or Extend Job Keeper To The Philippines

The Government’s member for Manila George Christensen has ordered the PM to either open up the borders or extend Australia’s Job Keeper program to the Philippines.

”This budget doesn’t do enough for the fine people of the Philippines,” said the member for Manila. ”It’s all well and good to say this is a budget for Women, but what about all the women in the Philippines.”

”Those poor girls over there rely on good hearted philanthropists like myself to help them chase their dreams of becoming ping pong champions.”

When asked why he was more concerned for the people of the Philippines than the people of Queensland, the member for Manila said: ”That is patently untrue.”

”I am doing my all to give the people of Queensland what they want and that is me overseas in the Philippines.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to head to Rebel sports to get some ping pong balls shipped to Manila.”

Mark Williamson


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