Opposition Leader Bill Shorten, still riding high from his honourable loss at the last federal election has called upon the two losing teams in this year’s AFL and NRL grand finals to join him on a victory lap of the… Read More ›
AFL
Thousands Of Sharks And Dogs Fans Gather To Get A Glimpse Of Really Pissed Footballers
Fans of underdog football champions the Western Bulldogs and the Cronulla Sharks have swarmed the home grounds of both clubs hoping to get a look at what a group of spectacularly pissed grand final winners look like in person. “I’ve… Read More ›
Will Putin’s Girlfriend Be Best Dressed WAG At Tonight’s Syrian Peace Talks?
Fashion fans are holding their breath in anticipation at who will be the best dressed WAG on the red carpet at tonight’s UN Security Council talks on Syria. “The bombers have always had the best dressed WAGS so keep your… Read More ›
“That Footy Player In The Headgear Is The Only Sensible One Out There” Declare Nation’s Mums
Australia’s mums have responded to another pulsating round of football finals action by issuing a joint statement that the bloke out there with the headgear on is the only sensible player on the field. “See that one there, him with… Read More ›
“Banana Splits” Banned From AFL
1970s TV stars “The Banana Splits” have been banned from attending Aussie rules games after fears that morons may hurl band members at indigenous players. “We’ve told security staff to be on the lookout for an elephant carrying a keyboard… Read More ›
We Were On Painkillers When We Hired Eddie McGuire Admits Channel Nine
Television network Channel Nine has apologised for hiring Eddie McGuire and blamed the decision on painkillers and antibiotics it had taken while recovering from some low ratings. “We were as high as a kite and for some reason thought Eddie… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 