Fashion fans are holding their breath in anticipation at who will be the best dressed WAG on the red carpet at tonight’s UN Security Council talks on Syria.
“The bombers have always had the best dressed WAGS so keep your eye on whatever style of Russian gangster chic Putin’s girlfriend will be sporting,” said seasoned UN fashion watcher Yves St Detente. “But will John Kerry’s wife Teresa Heinz go overboard and show a bit of leg? I hope so.”
“Whatever result Boris pulls in for the civilians of Aleppo will be secondary to how much side boob I can get away with,” promised Marina Wheeler, wife of UK foreign secretary Boris Johnson. “There’s always a bit of rivalry between us and the ISIS girls. I’ve heard that all the best Daesh clothing shops have sold out of form fitting burkas.”
Highlights from previous UN Security Council talks include Barbara Bush’s liberal use of double sided tape in her gown for the 1990 Kuwait War and Lady Churchill’s catty wardrobe malfunction that upstaged Mrs Stalin at the Yalta Conference in 1945.
“I’m really glad that all I have to do for these events is nip on down to Kelly Country and hire a tux for the night,” said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. “You certainly won’t see me wearing a white helmet. The only man who wears white to these things is Geoffrey Edelsten.”