Thousands Of Sharks And Dogs Fans Gather To Get A Glimpse Of Really Pissed Footballers


Fans of underdog football champions the Western Bulldogs and the Cronulla Sharks have swarmed the home grounds of both clubs hoping to get a look at what a group of spectacularly pissed grand final winners look like in person.

“I’ve waited 50 years for a chance to see a bunch of blokes this far off their chops,” said tearful Cronulla supporter Max Wobbegong. “I can hardly speak because of the emotion and Michael Ennis can hardly speak because of the 27 cans of VB he’s consumed in the past 12 hours.”

“I’m so glad my kiddies had a chance to witness a part of history,” said Bulldogs fan Jim Smokestack as he hoisted his son onto his shoulders to get a better view. “Son, see that man there with the underpants on his head. He’s so shitfaced he just stumbled straight off the side of the makeshift stage into a bucket of Gatorade.”

It’ s been an agonising 62 year wait for Western Bulldogs fan Harry Nosehair, 82, who still has vivid memories of the last time he got to see the then Footscray team so rat-arsed.

“We all put on our best hats and gave three cheers to our captain Charlie Sutton before he emerged from the dressing rooms wearing a pink ballgown and proceeded to skull a longneck of Fosters Crown Lager,” said the sprightly octogenarian. “And now I get to see it all again. These lads are absolute warriors. I just hope my grandkids aren’t my age before they once again get a chance to see this many legends goosing each other while trying to give interviews.”

Peter Green

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Categories: Sport

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