Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told Opposition leader Anthony Albanese that he should’ve worked harder on his marriage, as Australian’s put great stock in a leader with a strong marriage. ”Albo can buy a new pair of… Read More ›
Albo
Government Tipped To Cut Excise On Premium Unleaded And Raise It On E10
Australia’s Coalition Government (for now) is today tipped to announce that they will be cutting the fuel excise on premium unleaded petrol and raising it on E10, in an effort to curtail rising fuel costs. ”Don’t think we haven’t noticed… Read More ›
Acting PM Barnaby Joyce Recalls Parliament To Overturn The Bonk Ban
Australia’s acting PM Barnaby Joyce (yes, really) has used his first day in charge to recall Parliament in order to overturn the contentious bonk ban. ”There are wars going on, towns are getting flooded and the pandemic is still here…. Read More ›
Sky News Blames Shockingly Low Ratings On Cancel Culture
Niche news network Sky News Australia has lashed out and blamed what they call ”cancel culture” for the network’s ridiculously low ratings. ”Damn! Woke leftists have decided to cancel us,” said a Sky News spokesperson. ”They should force people to… Read More ›
Lawsuit Settling Prince Andrew Tells Australia He’s Ready To Be Knighted
The Queen’s favourite Son fresh off settling a sexual assault lawsuit out of court has told the people of Australia that he is ready to be knighted for his services to children. ”The Prince is most relieved to make this… Read More ›
PM Sends Jen Down To IKEA To Find Out How To Stop A Cabinet Leaking
Australian Prime Minister Scotty who was fired from marketing has sent his wife Jen down to IKEA to find out how to stop a cabinet from leaking. ”Jen has a way of getting things done, whether it be explaining to… Read More ›