Australia’s Coalition Government (for now) is today tipped to announce that they will be cutting the fuel excise on premium unleaded petrol and raising it on E10, in an effort to curtail rising fuel costs.
”Don’t think we haven’t noticed that commuters are being slugged when they go to fill up their Land rover or Maserati,” said a Government Spokesperson. ”So, we will be acting today to give them some relief so that they have some cash left in their wallet to buy a case of Stella or a few bottles of Dom.”
”Of course to keep the budget balanced we will need raise the excise on E10, but we feel that those who use it can afford it. After all they didn’t shell out $100K on a new Rover.”
When asked why the Government seemed to favour high income earners, the Government Spokesperson said: ”If the PM were here he’d reject the premise of your question.”
”Under the Abbott/Turnbull/Morrison/Joyce Government if you have a go, you’ll get a go.”
”To all those E10 drivers might I suggest you have a go at donating to the Coalition or driving your car, if you can afford it to a marginal seat.”
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