Opposition Leader and spokesperson for the King of Knives retail chain Bill Shorten has reached out to former Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton to offer him tips on how to properly knife a sitting Prime Minister. “Sitting back… Read More ›
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Peter Dutton Celebrates Book Week By Dressing Up As A Dick-Tater
Despite being in the middle of a leadership challenge former Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has taken the time to celebrate Book Week by dressing up as his favourite character a Dick-tata. “One can not stress the importance… Read More ›
Country Of 25 Million Shocked To Learn That 35 Of Them Think Peter Dutton Would Make A Good PM
25 million Australian’s are in shock today after learning that 35 of them believe that former Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton would make a good Prime Minister. “I was a bit stunned to be honest,” said a person… Read More ›
Home Ware Shops Report Spike In The Sales Of Potato Peelers
Australia’s home ware shops have reported a sudden spike in the sales of potato peelers following Peter Dutton’s leadership challenge. “We see this a lot in America after a mass shooting where people assume a gun will be banned so… Read More ›
Bill Shorten Thanks The Liberals For Granting Him A Week Off
Opposition leader Bill Shorten has sent a thank you bouquet of flowers to the Liberal party after they unexpectedly granted him a week off as Opposition leader. “It was most unexpected and very thoughtful of the Liberals,” said a relaxed… Read More ›
“No More New Migrants Till We’ve Finished Hating The Ones We’ve Got” Pleads Pauline Hanson
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has demanded that Australia slow down its immigration rate until she’s had a chance to catch up on hating all the immigrants that are already here. “There’re whole groups of migrants that I haven’t got… Read More ›