In off-the-record comments, a source from ASIO admitted to The (Un)Australian that the security agency’s greatest fears over national security were “the ever-present threat of a fatal flag pole accident involving our prime minister”. Prime Minister Tony Abbott has been constantly warning against the prospect of a… Read More ›
Carlo Sands
Australia Hoping Donald Trump Becomes President To Distract World From Tony Abbott
Australians from across the country are expressing their support for businessman, reality TV star and famed hair groomer Donald Trump’s campaign for the 2016 US presidency, in the fervent hope that “finally there’ll be a world leader more batshit crazy… Read More ›
Betting On ‘Hypocrite Of The Year’ Award Suspended After People Smuggling Scandal
Betting on this year’s prestigious World’s Biggest Hypocrite Award, known popularly as “the Bono”, has been suspended after a huge plunge on the entire Abbott government was followed by an even larger plunge on the Labor Opposition. Bet369.com spokesperson Mick Dodgey said bookmakers… Read More ›
Bloody Carnage From Adam Goodes’ Race War Grows
Days after Sydney Swans star and Australian of the Year, Adam Goodes declared a race war on white Australia by performing a traditional Aboriginal war dance after kicking a goal against Carlton, the death and destruction continue to spread. The… Read More ›
Push To Ban Buzzfeed After Epidemic Of Blown Minds
Mental health experts have called for authorities to take strong action against Buzzfeed after what they described as an “out-of-control epidemic” of people with their “minds totally blown” after visiting the well-known internet site. “The issue is extremely serious,”… Read More ›
‘Tony’s Tradies’ To Lead Budget Repair, Available Now For Bachelorette Parties, Special Events
After delivering a second consecutive deficit in its May 12 budget, the Abbott government is banking on “Tony’s Tradies” to stimulate a lagging economy. Coining the phrase in an exclusive post-budget interview with The (Un)Australian, Prime Minister Tony Abbott plugged “Tony Tradies” as his government’s… Read More ›