An angry mob has torn apart a cute white Labrador puppy after the animal attempted make off with a length of Kleenex toilet paper. “He may be adorable and fluffy but these are desperate times and every sheet is precious,”… Read More ›
Coles
One Nation Offers Up Their Policy Plans To The Nation Should Australia Run Out Of Toilet Paper
Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party has moved to reassure Australia that in the event of the country running out of toilet paper, they will make available to their supporters printed copies of their policies to use in it’s place. “I… Read More ›
Treasurer Urges Struggling Retailers To Diversify And Consider Stocking Toilet Paper
Treasurer Josh Frydenburg has called upon struggling retailers to review their businesses and consider diversifying into more in demand products like hand sanitiser or toilet paper. “I empathise with any businesses currently doing it tough, I really do,” said Treasurer… Read More ›
Toilet Paper Shortage Results In ScoMo Calling In The Army To Guard Engadine Maccas
Prime Minister ScoMo has gone on the attack in the war against the Corona pandemic by calling in the army to guard the toilet paper supply at Engadine Maccas. ”Mine is a proactive Government,”said Prime Minister Scomo. ”When I heard… Read More ›
Coles Announces New Set Of Anti-Terror Minis
Cole’s supermarkets have announced that it would be adding a new selection to its already popular plastic crap minis range. Coles Spokesperson Richard Slicker told the (un)Australian: “Off the back of the recent attack in Sydney, people have been clamouring to protect their… Read More ›
Australian Dairy Industry Begs Protesters To Throw Milkshakes Not Eggs At Nigel Farage
The Australian dairy industry has passionately pleaded with protesters to go with milkshakes instead of eggs when they protest UK Right wing ‘voice’ Nigel Farage’s visit to Australia next week. “This is not a political thing for us we just… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 