Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party has moved to reassure Australia that in the event of the country running out of toilet paper, they will make available to their supporters printed copies of their policies to use in it’s place.

“I promise all Australian’s that no one who supports my party will ever be in danger of not having something to wipe their behind with,” said Senator Hanson. ”Whether it be our policies on immigration, the budget or making the wearing of tin foil hats compulsory I will ensure we have copies available.”

When asked what other measures she would like to see used to help contain the spread of the Corona virus, Senator Hanson said: “Well firstly how do we know that this virus is real?”

“My steamed (sic) colleague Malcolm Roberts is doing some vital research on the dark web as he believes that the Carona virus is a scam.”

“He has shown me some very convincing Youtube videos.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to talk to a gentleman Malcolm met on the internet who has some important information for us concerning the lizard people.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

Tags: auspol, Coalition, Coles, Conspiracy Theory, Corona, Costco, COVID-19, Insiders, Malcolm Roberts, One Nation, Pandemic, Pauline Hanson, QandA, Scomo, Scotty From Marketing, Tin Foil hat, Toilet Paper, Woolworths, Youtube