Treasurer Urges Struggling Retailers To Diversify And Consider Stocking Toilet Paper


Treasurer Josh Frydenburg has called upon struggling retailers to review their businesses and consider diversifying into more in demand products like hand sanitiser or toilet paper.

“I empathise with any businesses currently doing it tough, I really do,” said Treasurer Frydenburg. “But we can’t just blame the Government for every business that goes under due to a stagnating economy.”

“Businesses need to look at themselves a little bit and think hmm, maybe instead of jeans I could sell jeans and toilet paper. Or if I’m a restaurant maybe I could pay my staff in rolls of toilet paper as part of their salary.”

When asked why he was not doing more to stimulate the economy, the Treasurer replied: “What more could I be doing?”

“I am out here now offering businesses free advice when I could theoretically charge them for it. In fact that’s not a bad idea I might invoice every Australian business and the money raised could go towards bringing the budget back in black.”

“If you’ll excuse me I’m off to find my invoice book.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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