An angry mob has torn apart a cute white Labrador puppy after the animal attempted make off with a length of Kleenex toilet paper.
“He may be adorable and fluffy but these are desperate times and every sheet is precious,” said mob member Phil Scruncher as he carefully re rolled the length of Kleenex Cottonelle back onto its spool. “I’ve got no tolerance for any type of cute animal gamboling through the house with toilet paper wrapped around its paws when I might get sent into a corona-virus related lock down at any moment.”
The puppy had gently nudged the toilet roll off the holder and was chasing it gaily down the stairs when set upon by an unruly mob of typical Australian morons.
“I’d strongly recommend that all curious puppies wait until everyone has calmed down a bit before attempting to nuzzle any superior cushiony soft paper items around in public,” said Kay Nein from the RSPCA. “In the short term I think dogs should restrict their playful toilet paper shenanigans to those rough single sheet brands that you find in the staff toilets of really cheap companies that no-one would dream of hoarding.”
Peter Green
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