Australia’s next top Prime Minister Bill Shorten has told colleagues that he will not deliver the traditional Budget reply speech on Thursday and instead simply recap to the Australian public what has been happening on the popular TV show Married At… Read More ›
Insiders
Abbott Calls Upon The PM To Promote ‘Sir Plus’ To A Prince
Aspiring YouTuber Tony Abbott has called upon the interim Prime Minister Scott Morrison to promote the budget surplus, or ‘Sir Plus’ as Tony refers to it, to a full blown Prince. “I think my Government, I mean Scott’s Government should… Read More ›
Treasury Forget To Unlock Lock Up From Last Year’s Budget… Horrified Staff Discover Starving Journalists Feasting On Corpse Of Kerrie O’Brien
Horrified treasury officials unlocking the lock up room ahead of tonight’s federal budget made the gruesome discovery that they had forgotten to release last year’s journalists from the lock up. “We thought the parliament house press gallery had been awfully… Read More ›
Pauline Hanson Returns To Library To Re-Borrow “The Smurfs Guide To Port Arthur”
With a full week of interviews ahead of her, One Nation’s chief conspiracy theorist Pauline Hanson has rushed to the Ipswich library to re-borrow her favourite reference book, “The Smurfs Guide To Port Arthur.” “I was caught on the hop… Read More ›
Psychiatric Assessment And 14 Day Cooling Off Period Introduced For People Wanting To Vote For One Nation
Australian authorities have introduced the world’s strictest anti-One Nation laws in response to recent massacres of basic human decency. “This country had a reckless situation where just anyone could wander in off the street and into a polling place and… Read More ›
Dutton Confident He Has The Numbers To Roll NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been seen wandering the halls of parliament telling colleagues that he is confident that he has the numbers to roll recently elected NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian and take her job. “Peter is… Read More ›