Treasury Forget To Unlock Lock Up From Last Year’s Budget… Horrified Staff Discover Starving Journalists Feasting On Corpse Of Kerrie O’Brien

Lock up

Horrified treasury officials unlocking the lock up room ahead of tonight’s federal budget made the gruesome discovery that they had forgotten to release last year’s journalists from the lock up.

“We thought the parliament house press gallery had been awfully quiet and put that down to them all taking time off to write books about the latest leadership spill,” admitted red faced treasury staff. “The blood curdling screams and the pervasive smell of rancid flesh around parliament house is kind of normal whenever Bob Katter is in town so no-one thought anything of it.”

“It was like Lord Of The Flies in there with the Fairfax and ABC journos trying to maintain some kind of order whilst the guys from The Australian and Buzzfeed were stripped down to their underpants and hunting the rest like pigs,” said one half crazed survivor. “Admittedly that was only four hours into the lock up before the scheduled release time. Things got even worse once we realised they’d forgotten about us. We wrote a help message on the back of a fancy graphic of winners and losers from the budget that the bloke from the Herald Sun was working on and tossed it out the window but it was ignored by the reader who picked it up and found the wordy part a bit heavy going.”

The representative from the Australian Financial Review has requested an extension of time to complete their budget summary after only getting as far as page 1347 of the document.

Peter Green

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Categories: Politics

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