With a full week of interviews ahead of her, One Nation’s chief conspiracy theorist Pauline Hanson has rushed to the Ipswich library to re-borrow her favourite reference book, “The Smurfs Guide To Port Arthur.”
“I was caught on the hop earlier this week however now that I am armed with literature no interviewer will be able to pull a fast one on good old Pauline,” said Senator Hanson. “Let’s face it who’s going to argue with a smurf, well maybe Gargamel but he’s not in Australian politics is he?”
“Actually now that I think about it I have never seen Gargamel and Sunrise’s Davis Koch in the same room together.”
When it was pointed out to Senator Hanson that Gargamel and the Smurfs were fictional characters she said: “Look at you media types always coming at me with your so called facts. Well you are not the only one who has read a book I have as well.”
“I choose to take the words of the Smurfs in their little blue book over what happened at Port Arthur and you should show some respect to Pappa Smurf and the rest of the smurfs and stop challenging their beliefs.”
At this point Senator Hanson had to leave for her Midday appointment with her newly appointed climate change expert a Mr Humphrey B Bear.
Mark Williamson and Peter Green
Twitter: @MWChatShow @Greeny_Peter