Interim Prime Minister Scott “ScoMo” Morrison has told colleagues that he plans to increase the current Newstart allowance to include a free copy of the prosperity gospel to all recipients. “It would be easy for my Government to give more… Read More ›
Labor
Dutton Demands More Powers Or Else He’ll Piss All Over The Floor
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Cabinet give him the power to exclude people from the country or else he will piss all over the floors of parliament. “This is just… Read More ›
Christopher Pyne Denies Any Conflicts Over New Role As Fixer For Ernst And Young
Recently retired federal minister Christopher Pyne has denied there is any conflict of interest in his taking on a new role as a consultant to Ernst and Young in the fixing industry. “Yes I was a fixer for the government… Read More ›
The (un)Australian’s Election Predictions
The big day is almost here. The sausages are defrosting, the cakes are being iced and the entire Nation breathes a sigh of relief that they will no longer be receiving unauthorised text messages from a C Palmer of Brisbane…. Read More ›
ScoMo Pledges To Neck A Yard Glass Of Macca’s Coke In Honour Of Bob Hawke
Scott Morrison has pledged to take some time out in his final days campaigning as Prime Minister to neck a yard glass of Macca’s coke as a tribute to former Prime Minister Bob Hawke. “I know a lot of Australian’s… Read More ›
Barnaby Joyce Plans To Spend The Week Polling Swinging Voters
Future deputy Opposition leader Barnaby Joyce has told colleagues that he plans to spend the final week of the election campaign polling swinging voters in an effort to get the Coalition over the line. “I am a proven campaigner and… Read More ›