Dutton Demands More Powers Or Else He’ll Piss All Over The Floor


Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Cabinet give him the power to exclude people from the country or else he will piss all over the floors of parliament.

“This is just Pete being Pete,” said a Liberal Party Insider. “He’s used to threatening people to get his own way. Give me this or I’ll cause a spill, give me that or I’ll piss all over the floor.”

“This is Malcolm’s fault every time Dutton chucked a fit Malcolm would boost up his ministry. Heck he even gave Peter a Leadership spill for God’s sake.”

When asked for comment on Minister Dutton’s demands the Prime Minister said of his colleague, “Peter Dutton is a valued member of my Government as without him I probably wouldn’t have been PM.”

“So he wants a bit more power I can do that, after all he’s really no threat to me.”

Minister Dutton could not be reached for comment as he was currently chucking a tantrum at the Parliament house canteen after they ran out of green jelly cups.

Mark Williamson


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