Scott Morrison’s Liberal Government has held an emergency meeting overnight to change the constitution of the party to ensure that no sitting Craig Kelly is ever unseated in a pre-selection battle. “We’ve listened to the people and by people I… Read More ›
Liberal party
Liberal Party’s Plan To Expel Turnbull Fails After Someone Put Peter Dutton In Charge Of Organising The Numbers
The Roseville branch of the Liberal party’s plan to expel former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has failed after they left the task of organising the numbers in the hands of Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton. “You’d think we’d… Read More ›
Morrison Challenges Pamela Anderson To Debate His New Adviser Lara Bingle In A Pool Full Of Jelly
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken some time out from the Canberra thought bubble to respond to American actress Pamela Anderson’s call to step in and help Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. Mr Morrison informed Ms Anderson that she should discuss… Read More ›
Turnbull Sends Dutton Strawberries As Gesture Of Reconciliation
Malcolm Turnbull has gifted Peter Dutton hundreds of punnets of strawberries in an effort to show that he has no hard feelings following the recent leadership crisis that cost the former PM his job. “I’ve vowed not to be like… Read More ›
Home Ware Shops Report Spike In The Sales Of Potato Peelers
Australia’s home ware shops have reported a sudden spike in the sales of potato peelers following Peter Dutton’s leadership challenge. “We see this a lot in America after a mass shooting where people assume a gun will be banned so… Read More ›
Bill Shorten Thanks The Liberals For Granting Him A Week Off
Opposition leader Bill Shorten has sent a thank you bouquet of flowers to the Liberal party after they unexpectedly granted him a week off as Opposition leader. “It was most unexpected and very thoughtful of the Liberals,” said a relaxed… Read More ›