The Opposition today are holding emergency meetings with a view to rolling their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton and replacing him with an actual potato after Mr Dutton’s woeful budget reply speech. ”It was a long shot to be… Read More ›
Liberal party
Libs Blame Poor Polling On Public’s Fascination With Low Carb Diets
The Liberal party has blamed their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton’s diabolically low popularity on the public’s fascination with low-carb diets. ”The public for years have been told that carbs are bad and worse than the devil,” said a… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Surviving The Week With All His Horcruxes Intact
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has celebrated surviving the first week of Parliament with all his horcruxes intact. ”The Dark Lord has survived a bruising first week,” said a Spokes Death Eater for the Dark Lord. ”Harry Albanese… Read More ›
Dutton Sends Colleagues Holiday Snaps Of Him Shooting A Puppy
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton who is currently holidaying in America has sent his colleagues video footage of him shooting a puppy. ”America is a great place and full of opportunity,” said the Dark Lord. ”Previously I have… Read More ›
NSW Premier Tells Flood Victims No Cent Will Be Spared To Protect John Barilaro
NSW Premier Dominic Perrotet has today moved to reassure the State’s residents that no cent will be spared in protecting the State’s number one citizen John Barilaro from any form of flood or storm damage. ‘We’ve seen some awful and… Read More ›
Nation’s Real Estate Agents Tell Tenants To Hand Over Their Super Or Else
The Australian Real-estate Sales Executive (Arse) has spoken out in favour of Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison’s plan to allow people to use their superannuation to buy houses. ”What a great a way to help our members gain more… Read More ›