Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has defended his decision to use funds raised for Queensland flood relief to purchase puppies to strangle. ”My role is very stressful and I’m sure that the people in my electorate want… Read More ›
Liberals
Perrotet To Compensate All Gambling Premises Affected By Train Disruption
NSW Premier (for now) Dominic Perrotet has apologised to all gambling venues in NSW that were affected by yesterday’s train disruption and promised them all compensation for any losses. ”To all the pokies operators, keno runners, TAB’s and cock ring… Read More ›
ScoMo Asks Barnaby For Advice On How To Work Whilst ”Blind”
Australian Prime Minister Scotty who was fired from marketing and not hired as a welder Morrison, has sough out his colleague Barnaby Joyce for advice on how to do his job whilst blind. ”The other day there was a bit… Read More ›
ScoMo Stunned To Learn That Woman Are Allowed To Vote
Australian Prime Minister Scotty who was fired from marketing was stunned to learn this week that women were actually allowed to vote in the upcoming Federal Election. ”When he found out it absolutely floored him,” said a Government Insider. ”He… Read More ›
Barnaby Denies Sending a Dick Pic Claiming It Was Meant To Be A Selfie
Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has denied sending his coalition colleagues a dick pic, insisting it was actually an attempt at a selfie but he got the angle wrong. ”Look, I know what the picture looks like but… Read More ›
Nation Surprised To Learn That The PM’s Creepy Mate Is Against Jabbing Kids
Australian’s have been surprised to learn that the PM’s creepy mate the Member for Dawson George Christensen is against jabbing children. ”Yeah, that’s a bit of a surprise if I’m honest,” said Mackay based Tradie Steve Armstrong. ”I mean with… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 