Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has denied sending his coalition colleagues a dick pic, insisting it was actually an attempt at a selfie but he got the angle wrong.
”Look, I know what the picture looks like but I promise you that is not my old fella,” said the Deputy PM. ”Besides, if it was my old fella I would’ve needed a bigger phone to capture it.”
”Weird, that most of my colleagues automatically assumed it was a dick pic and not an artistic selfie.”
When asked why the Government was seemingly imploding over leaked texts, the Member for New England said: ”People of Australia are sick of all this nonsense.”
”They just want their politicians to get on with the job and if they can, get on the job, if you know what I mean.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to know what Albo’s stance is on the bonk ban, just in case we need to maybe form a coalition sometime down the track.”
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