Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been seen wandering the halls of parliament telling colleagues that he is confident that he has the numbers to roll recently elected NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian and take her job. “Peter is… Read More ›
Liberals
Richard Di Natale “Furious” Cyber Attackers Overlooked The Greens
Senator Richard Di Natale has expressed his displeasure that the Greens weren’t one of the political parties subject to a cyber-attack reported on Monday. The attack on Parliament’s servers by a “sophisticated state actor” only targeted the Liberal, Labor and… Read More ›
Nation Breathes A Sigh Of Relief As The Dark Lord Is Defeated
The Australian people have let out a collective sigh of relief after news filtered through that the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was defeated in battle by the Cronulla Shark Scott Morrison. “I tell you that was a relief,” said an… Read More ›
“We Have A Jandal Capable Of Reaching Australia” Warn Kiwis
New Zealand claims to have the technology to build a mini “chilly bin” capable of fitting into a missile and the capacity to launch it as far as Norfolk Island as tension with Australia escalates. “If foolish Australia threatens us… Read More ›
Turnbull Regrets Taking Matt Canavan’s Mother’s Advice To Order Italian
Prime Minister (for now) Malcolm Turnbull has expressed regret at his choice of dinner last night after ordering Italian. The Prime Minister decided on Italian after receiving a recommendation from Senator Matt Canavan’s Mother. A remorseful Prime Minister spoke to… Read More ›
Abbott Wants To Put The Coal Back Into Coalition
Aspiring Opposition leader Tony Abbott has called upon his Liberal and National colleagues to put the ‘Coal’ back into the Coalition. In a speech delivered to his loyal following, held in a telephone booth on the Northern beaches. Speaking to… Read More ›