The Australian Liberal party has responded to polling showing that they are not popular with the youth of Australia by announcing a new initiative, the Dutton Youth. ”We understand that the youth of Australia are not connecting with us and… Read More ›
Newspoll
Dutton Shocked To Learn That Politics Is In Fact A Popularity Contest
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn that politics is in fact a popularity contest. The news came with the arrival of the latest News Poll with the Opposition leader languishing behind the PM Anthony Albanese…. Read More ›
Libs Blame Poor Polling On Public’s Fascination With Low Carb Diets
The Liberal party has blamed their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton’s diabolically low popularity on the public’s fascination with low-carb diets. ”The public for years have been told that carbs are bad and worse than the devil,” said a… Read More ›
Sky News Polls Their Viewers, All 6 Of Them And Declares ScoMo Will Win
Niche news network Sky News Australia has released polling that they’ve done with their viewers, all 6 of them, that shows Prime Minister Scott Morrison will comfortably win this Saturday’s election. ”Our polls indicate that over 83% of our viewers… Read More ›
Barnaby Calls For More Funding For Future Single Mothers
Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has called for an increase in funding for future single Mothers, in a move that he feels may help the Coalition with their female problem. ”We need to make sure we look after… Read More ›
ScoMo To Use $5 Billion Disaster Relief Fund To Fix His Public Image
Australian Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison has pledged to get his hands dirty and dig into the Government’s $5 billion disaster relief fund to help fix his broken public image. ”It hasn’t been an easy couple of years for… Read More ›