ScoMo To Use $5 Billion Disaster Relief Fund To Fix His Public Image

Australian Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison has pledged to get his hands dirty and dig into the Government’s $5 billion disaster relief fund to help fix his broken public image.

”It hasn’t been an easy couple of years for Australians,” said the PM. ”A lot of them are looking to blame their troubles on me when they should be looking elsewhere like at Labor and the Greens.”

”After all, it wasn’t me there holding a hose, I was elsewhere.”

When asked why the people of Australia should be looking to blame Labor when they have not been in power for 9 years, the PM said: ”I reject the premise of your question.”

”Labor is the Opposition, that’s their job, to oppose me.”

”Australians want their PM to do well. They want him to ham it up at the footy, have a crack at welding or don a hi-vis vest just because.”

”How am I meant to do all that if I have to constantly rock up to interviews and argue against Labor.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear a tree fell on the road down the street. I need to get there to tell the press how I saw Albo push it over.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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