Australia’s Vegans have launched a petition to ban the Bunnings sausage sizzle, claiming the smell of burning flesh combined with the phallic shape of the sausage is off putting and offensive to the community at large. ”It’s time that Bunnings… Read More ›
Newtown
Bank Of Mum And Dad Raise Interest To Three Phone Calls Home A Month
In Finance news today an Inner West couple has been rocked after the bank of Mum and Dad raised Interest from two to three phone calls home a month. ”Times are tough and my Wife and I aren’t getting any… Read More ›
Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly has… Read More ›
Barnaby Joyce Calls For An End To Animal Vasectomies
Former deputy prime minister and self-confessed families man Barnaby Joyce has called on the Government to outlaw the practice of animal vasectomies. Following the incident in Newtown NSW where a Baboon escaped his impending vasectomy. “It’s time we put an… Read More ›
Increase In Heart Disease Attributed To Hipsters Trying Out Halal Snack Packs
The Australian Medical Association says an alarming rise in heart attacks in inner western Sydney is due to increased consumption of halal snack packs by politically aware lunchers wanting to show solidarity with the Muslim community. “Ever since Pauline Hanson… Read More ›
Chaos Descends In Sydney As Burger Place Opens
Sydney was thrown into bedlam yesterday following the opening of a new burger joint, the BBC is reporting. While news in the affected region is naturally limited as a result of such an unprecedented restaurant being opened in such a… Read More ›