Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has directed Australian parents to ensure that they eradicate all compassion out of their children from a young age and to do so by smacking them if necessary. “We do not want a… Read More ›
Peter Dutton
MCG Raid Finds 44 Underpaid Overseas Students Playing For Carlton
A raid by Fair Work Inspectors over the weekend on the MCG has discovered 44 underpaid students playing AFL for the Carlton Football Club. “We did have our suspicions early in the season when they looked about as close to… Read More ›
New Zealand Offers Asylum To Australia’s Live Export Sheep
The New Zealand Government has reached out to Australia to offer asylum to any sheep affected by the cruel process of live exporting. “We think it is barbaric and cruel that these sheep are subjected to inhumane conditions then left… Read More ›
Dutton To Make It Easier For White People To Get Through Airport Security
Minister for Home Affairs Peter Dutton has pledged to make it easier for white people to travel by giving them a clearer path through airport security with the Federal police being given the power to ‘randomly’ stop people at airports… Read More ›
Commonwealth Games Athletes From Melbourne Seek Asylum On The Gold Coast
Officials from the Australian Commonwealth Games team have confirmed that 25 athletes from Melbourne have gone missing from the games village and are believed to be seeking asylum on the Gold Coast. “Please don’t send me back home, I can’t… Read More ›
“Forty Is The New Thirty” Claims Malcolm Turnbull
Prime Minister (ed. please check if this is still the case) Malcolm Turnbull has stunned the mathematics world by claiming that the number 40 is now the new number 30. “Young people are maturing a lot later in life now… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 