Dutton Encourages Parents To Smack The Compassion Out Of Their Kids

Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has directed Australian parents to ensure that they eradicate all compassion out of their children from a young age and to do so by smacking them if necessary.

“We do not want a generation of children to grow up with a heart, conscience and compassion for others,” said Minister Dutton. “I mean how will we continue to mistreat asylum seekers if all of a sudden the people of Australia have a conscience?”

“We’ve seen in America the damage that kids can cause. Gun sales are down after the little blighters got all upset over a few of their classmates being shot. What a pack of wimps.”

When asked why compassion is such a dirty word Minister Dutton answered: “Compassion doesn’t win elections. You think I mistreat asylum seekers for fun, well there is a little bit of that. But I do this for the Australian people. I stop boats and win elections and that’s just the start.”

Peter Dutton will attempt to be re-elected later this year and should he lose is tipped to star as the lead villain in the next Avengers movie.

Mark Williamson 


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Categories: Politics

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