Interim Prime Minister Scott “ScoMo” Morrison has told colleagues that he plans to increase the current Newstart allowance to include a free copy of the prosperity gospel to all recipients. “It would be easy for my Government to give more… Read More ›
Scott Morrison
Dutton Demands More Powers Or Else He’ll Piss All Over The Floor
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Cabinet give him the power to exclude people from the country or else he will piss all over the floors of parliament. “This is just… Read More ›
Nation Stunned To Learn That Man Who Can’t Do Basic Arithmetic Still Has Job As Finance Minister
Australians were shocked to learn that a man who last year struggled with basic arithmetic, Matthias Cormann is in fact still the Nation’s Finance Minister. “Him, really? The bloke that bungled the numbers in the leadership challenge is in charge… Read More ›
NSW Premier Apologises For Not Asking Alan Jones How High When He Told Her To Jump Recently
NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has issued a grovelling apology to radio shock jock Alan Jones after she failed to ask him how high when he demanded she jump for him. “Alan Jones is a great citizen and a font of… Read More ›
AFP Raids Matthias Cormann’s Office In Search For Dodgy Calculator
The Australian Federal Police has raided Minister for Finance Matthias Cormann’s parliamentary office in what insiders are claiming is a search to locate the dodgy calculator that the Senator used to calculate the numbers for the Minister for the Dark… Read More ›
Dutton Confident That He Has The Numbers To Roll Morrison
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been telling colleagues that he is quietly confident that he has the numbers to mount a successful leadership challenge against Prime Minister-elect Scott Morrison. “Peter has been in a great mood… Read More ›