The Australian Federal Police has raided Minister for Finance Matthias Cormann’s parliamentary office in what insiders are claiming is a search to locate the dodgy calculator that the Senator used to calculate the numbers for the Minister for the Dark Arts, Peter Dutton’s unsuccessful leadership challenge last year.
“This is a perfectly normal procedure, nothing at all to worry about,” said the Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton. “We simply wish to locate the calculator that was responsible for setting me back on my mission to rule the land.”
“Once the calculator is located we can be assured that Matthias will have correct numbers for when I next challenge for the leadership.”
When asked why he felt the need to challenge recently elected Prime Minister Scott Morrison. Minister Dutton replied: “Scott has done a great job as Prime Minister heck he won us an election. But you know imagine how good of a job I might have done as Prime Minister.”
“Heck not only would I have won the election I would have also jailed all those that dared to vote against me. Christmas Island would be overflowing with the non-believers.”
Minister Dutton did not confirm when he would be next challenging for the Leadership.