Cardinal George Pell has come out [sic] in defence of Australian Rugby Union star Israel Folau, agreeing with his views on the damnation of gay people. Last week Folau responded to a comment on an Instagram post, where one of… Read More ›
Sport
God Prepares To Answer Prayers Of Commonwealth Games Competitors
It’s been revealed that God has set aside specific time to answer the prayers of athletes competing at the upcoming Commonwealth games. This has meant he will have to put other requests on hold, such as those in off-shore detention,… Read More ›
Sports Commentator Reminds Us To Always Use Heroin Responsibly
Viewers of the National Crab Soccer League are being constantly reminded to always use heroin responsibly after the league completed a multi million dollar sponsorship deal with Australia’s largest heroin dealer. “And don’t forget, always shoot up in a responsible… Read More ›
Australian Open Moved To Surface Of The Sun
Tennis Australia officials have confirmed that next year’s Australian Open will be played on the surface of the sun after complaints about the heat on Rod Laver Arena. “We had a good look around for a surface that was cooler… Read More ›
Australian Through To Second Set Of Australian Open
For the first time in more than a decade an Australian tennis player has made it through to the second set of the Australian Open. Plucky qualifier Dylan Catgut thrilled local fans by lasting almost a full hour on centre… Read More ›
“No-one Is Forcing Us To Watch Cricket” Australians Suddenly Realise
After 140 years of obsessively watching every second of the cricket, the Australian population has suddenly worked out that no-one is holding a gun to their head to make them do it and they could actually be doing something much… Read More ›
