QLD Voters File Missing Persons Report For Tony Abbott

Abbott and neman

Queensland voters currently in the middle of an election campaign have taken time out from having their babies kissed by politicians to report a missing person to the police. The missing person is said to go by the name of Tony Abbott.

Voters began to get suspicious when their premier announced an election was to be held on January 31st and Mr Abbott, the current Prime Minister, has yet, eleven days out from the election, to make an appearance in the banana-loving state.

Ray Starkey, a retired real estate agent living on the Sunshine Coast, explained the situation to The (un)Australian: “We figured Campbell Newman would be holding off the big guns until he formally launched the campaign, then Sunday came, Campbell did his little speech and Tony wasn’t there. I said to me Missus Shirl, something’s up I mean why wouldn’t the popularly elected prime minister not appear in an election campaign? I mean Bill Shorten was here and we haven’t heard from him in years.”

The (un)Australian reached out to the Queensland Liberal party enquiring about Mr Abbott but was met with, “Tony who?” and “Sorry there’s no Tony’s here.”

The Queensland election will be held on Saturday January 31st.

 Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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