The Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today told sources that in a series of unfortunate events he has inadvertently pocket dialled every single government backbencher.
The incident occurred as Turnbull was doing a little yard work in his modest Potts Point palatial palace on Sydney harbour.
Mr Turnbull recounted the series of unfortunate events to The (un)Australian, saying: “Basically I was pruning back the ivy, you know how hard it is to get rid of the dead wood that gathers around the benches, and as I reached up I must have bumped my phone in my pocket, not realising it was on.
“The caller would have heard me talking to my gardener, asking him to support me while I climbed a ladder and to stick it up the Abbott, Abbott of course being the name of my dog, who at present is suffering a bout of constipation and requires daily suppositories.”
Government ministers are sceptical of Turnbull’s story, however some appear to be taking the communications minister on his word.
Education minister Christopher Pyne said: “Whilst it appears implausible a member of the government helping the lower classes, Malcolm is slightly different to the rest of us, so I’ll go with Malcolm on this.”
Mark Williamson
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The (un)Australian 