Australia To Punish Indonesia By Sending More Footy Teams to Bali

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The Australian government has today warned Indonesian in the event of the execution of two of the members of the Bali 9, it would consider punishing Indonesia by sending more football teams to Bali on end-of-season footy trips.

Bali has traditionally been the go-to destination for Australian footballers to unwind after a hard season by getting drunk, abusive, belligerent and bartering aggressively with locals for the prized trophies of cheap Red Bull singlets.

The Australian government, until now, imposed sanctions on football teams so as not to destroy Bali, however in light of the pending executions, this is expected to change.

A government spokesperson told The (un)Australian: “For years, we limited the number of teams travelling there to a couple of AFL sidees and the occasional NRL squad. We also had the ‘no Willy rule’, whereby any team that had Willy Mason in it wasn’t allowed to travel there.

However, now all bets are off, unless of course they are with Sportsbet. We will not only be lifting restrictions, but will also be sending a special envoy consisting off Todd Carney, Willie Mason, Nate Myles and John Hopoate to play an ‘exhibition match’.”

The Indonesian government issued a statement saying they don’t respond well to threats. However, when The (un)Australian showed their foreign minister a picture of former NRL player and soon to be appointed Ambassador to Indonesia Joel Monaghan with a friend’s dog, they delayed transporting the two condemned men pending further negotiation.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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