Malcolm Turnbull Marries Gillian Triggs

malcolm turnbull

In a show of support for the much dejected and harassed President of the Australian Human Rights and Equality Opportunity Commission, Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has gone ahead and married Professor Gillian Triggs.

“I’ve always admired Gillian greatly,” said the minister leaving his cathedral. “And I felt she needed my support. We caught up for lunch yesterday and one thing lead to another. We plan to adopt.”

The happy couple has known each other for many years when Mr Turnbull spoke to poor people without a press conference and Gillian first drafted the Magna Carta.

 “Malcolm and I go way back,” said Professor Triggs. “He knew me before I had my English accent.”

The wedding ceremony was a surprise to everyone who attended, including Lucy Turnbull. “I really just thought, ‘not another bloody fundraiser Malcolm,’” she said packing her Boeing. “Next minute like a can of potpourri, Gillian is there with all her international covenants wandering down the aisle. She performed the ceremony herself. She’s a president, so she’s very organised.”

The former Mrs Turnbull remained quite laze faire about the whole event. “I really don’t care,” she shrugged. “Anything to get me out of Margaret Abbott’s tupperware party next Sunday.” The dedicated philanthropist jetted out this afternoon. “I just bought New Zealand. I’m off to oversee the renovations.”

Many commentators have been saying that the marriage to Triggs now raises questions about Mr Turnbull’s loyalty to the Prime Minister. “You have nothing to worry about that. The Prime Minister has my unequivocal support,” said the Communications Minister as his nose continued to grow passed one of Professor Trigg’s covenants. “I have complete faith in the Prime Minister as I do in God, Batman and Godwin Grech.”

The happy couple intends to honeymoon at the UN followed by a world tour of the planet’s finest detention centres.

John Cahill

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