The Greens today announced a reshuffle of their federal members portfolios, following former leader Christine Milne’s resignation. Adam Bandt, the Greens only lower house, was promoted to Treasury spokesperson, whilst his fellow Green, Senator Sarah Hanson-Young, lost her portfolio as spokesperson for ponies and rainbows.
The move is seen as the Greens looking to re-position themselves as a more mainstream party, with the popular Bandt given a chance to shine and the unpopular Hanson Young forced to face reality. The (un)Australian asked Hanson-Young for comment on the move, however she covered her ears, hid under a table and said, “I can’t hear you, la, la, la, la, la!”
A Greens insider however was more cooperative, explaining the move by saying: “A reshuffle was always on the cards, people relate to Adam, and after he was shafted on the leadership we felt we needed to do something to stop him doing a Jacqui Lambie and starting his own party, so we threw him Treasury.
“As for Sarah, well she needs to stop her day dreaming about ponies, or marriage equality, or humane treatment of refugees or rainbows. We are dealing with a harsh and brutal government and an ineffectual Opposition, so we need to aim our expectations low when dealing with them. Therefore we are making Sarah the spokesperson for compulsory coffee, tea and biscuits in every senate estimates hearing.”